the famine of the right hemisphere

ive grown tired of eating out of styro plates, tired of the monotony of days. I’m tired of fragile plastic forks & deep fried chicken that taste like the convenience of manufactured society. Yet again I find myself in the isthmus of a quarter-life crisis & self-pity. Nowadays what sustains me is my new girl-crush Tina Fey & …. uhm, my boyfriend.

Haha. Not so funny when you’re in my shoes. I have always been morose, like, I take downers every six hours mistaking it for aspirin. And this three sixty turn towards the sunny side, injured my right brain, slightly, I guess. I had wanted to do a One-poem-a-day exercise but have been just circling around the idea. Now it’s all tangled up & I have NOT started.

…now I’m reduced to balancing a Parker pen on my desktop while I’m working; it’s a way cooler goal to avoid toppling it over than actually climbing the friggin’ steep corporate ladder; which is all bullshit, by the way. That’s general knowledge.

The Cobain-Groban project

Collect twenty four termites. Put up an ad for twenty four mean, bibulous but hardworking wood munchers.

Halve them into two teams.

Set aside in glass containers.

Get two blocks of wood; same size & type. On two different soundproofed rooms, prepare a stereo & set them at the same volume.

Room A & B should get one block & a dozen termites.

Now we subject them to music.

Room A rocks to Groban’s Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring; whereas Room B resonates with Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.

After 3 minutes, and make sure the music stops simultaneously, remove the dirty dozen from each block of wood. (You might want to get twissors or surgical tweezers to pry them from the assaulted wood)

It is advised to drop the little rascals on a pyre to ensure their death. If you’re a pacifist, just leave them in their glass cages & have them munch  the material until they eventually give up trying & succumb to death. Yeah, like that’s any less cruel.

Anyway, it is no longer my business how you dispose of the artists.

Prepare a framelike material & put the woodblocks side by side.

Label them: Cobain - Groban.

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